The Kindest Heart That Ever Throbbed

Imposing Memorial

The final resting place of Henry Reginald Buttanshaw is marked by an imposing memorial in Waverley Cemetery, Bronte, New South Wales.

The suitably grand sandstone structure costing £90 was commissioned by the Magistrate's Mistress - the twice married Antoinette Alexandria Bray who bore him a son Henry Ernest following a liaison in Roma, Queensland in 1870.

Discreet Relationship

From then on the couple maintained a discreet and mostly long distance relationship that was to survived - even in death.

Antoinette had deserted her first husband Wilhelm Kohler by whom she had three children and then married Francis Nicoll the Roma Postmaster, auctioneer and former officer in the Native Police Force in August 1865.

Nicoll was to die from horrific burns in 1867 after falling into a fire at a hotel at Victoria Downs Reserve near Morven. Nicoll was so intoxicated he was unable to drag himself from the flames. It was a tragic end to a lamentable life.

Regal Russian

The attractive twenty five year old Russian born Antoinette always turned heads with her regal bearing and smart dress. She seemed to have a penchant for rich, influential and dashing gentlemen.

Henry Buttanshaw was exactly Antoinette's type - a man of means and well connected. He inherited considerable wealth after his father Thomas was killed near Bathurst in 1840 and then became the stepson of William Thornton MLC, Collector of Customs, a man of immense influence in the Queensland Government of the day.

Deceased Estate

When Buttanshaw died in 1888 he left a personal estate of land, stocks and bonds and bank deposits valued at £25,730/4/10. Shortly before his death he added a codicil to his Will leaving all his New South Wales real estate to Antoinette and an annuity of £200 for life.

The Will revealed Henry Ernest Bray was his natural son and would inherit the bulk of his father's estate when he turned twenty one.

Antoinette Bray died 19 April 1930 and was buried beside Buttanshaw, uniting the couple in a symbolic gesture 42 years after the Magistrate's death. Her epitaph, "Abide with Me", heartbreakingly ironic.